


Photographs are memories that last forever

by RedRaidingHood



Series: A good snapshot keeps a moment from running away [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: M/M, Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase mentioned, onesided Percy Jackson/Nico di Angelo mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-12
Updated: 2014-06-12
Packaged: 2018-02-04 09:06:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1773544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedRaidingHood/pseuds/RedRaidingHood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nico is a hobby-photographer and Jason is his roommate. Nico likes taking pictures - especially of his roommate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Photographs are memories that last forever

The light danced in little droplets through the branches of the trees, warming the early spring day. There was a couple laying in the grass on a cozy looking wool-blanket dozing on the first sunny day of the year. A bird was hopping to their left with dry grass in his beak, gathering material for his new home, eventually flying off when the girl laughed at something her boyfriend must have uttered.

_Click_

Nico liked being a photographer. He could see lot of things through his lens, others didn’t notice with the plain eye; how the light changed the perception of things, how it changed colours, highlighted textures, different shapes in banal objects, the beauty in buildings, faces, everything. It allowed him to melt into the background, to see people in their essence and still have this insurmountable distance between him and them that is the camera. He loved loosing himself in shooting, producing emotions, expressing himself by just the small sounds of the shutter.

It was a good picture. She had just started laughing and he looked so proud to have made her smile; Nico felt like someone punched him in the stomach, but the picture was too good to delete.

A sudden voice disturbed his peace, “Stalking Percy and Annabeth again?” He didn’t have to turn around to know it was Jason. It was always Jason nowadays.

“It’s not stalking. They know I’m here.” _Although they sure act like they forgot._

Jason shoved his shoulder playfully and leaned closer to peek at the display. As fast as he could react, Nico pressed the camera to his chest before Jason could actually see anything and met the others gaze sourly. “What do you want?”

“Do I have to want anything? It’s a nice day, it’s pretty warm and you’re still wearing a sweater. Aren’t you hot?”

“It’s not _that_ warm,” replied Nico dismissively. He was not in the mood to entertain the older; watching Percy and Annabeth being all lovey-dovey together just made him want to run back to the dorm and hide under his blanket. But since running away wouldn’t free him from Jason, his roommate, he just sighed loudly and rolled his eyes when Jason gave him a dopey smile in response. If Jason hadn’t been straight like a ruler, he might have thought of his smile as cute; but since he still had his hands full with getting over heterosexual-Percy, starting to pine for his just-as-heterosexual-roommate was something Nico could do without.

“Can I see?” Jason pointed to the camera still against Nico’s chest. Sometimes he would show Jason some of the pictures on his Laptop. Jason was always curious and asked a lot of questions, but Nico didn’t really mind. It was nice talking about photography, talking about the different emotions and interpretations he and Jason had. It had been over talks like that, that Jason had earned a special place in Nico’s heart. He was annoying and too-good-looking to be seen with Nico, but he genuinely cared and that was something Nico found incredibly endearing.

Reluctantly he offered Jason the camera. Jason bounced excitedly, reached for the device and his eyes flew almost instantly to the display. He flicked through the pictures habitually and grinned. He knew he was the only one besides Nico’s sister Hazel that got to see the pictures before Nico had seen through and edited them on the PC and he clearly swelled with pride every time Nico proved his trust like that.

Nico didn’t like that. He had started to hate Jason’s reactions not too long ago; they were just awfully flattering and likeable and Jason was straight. He felt the small blush creeping to his cheeks and turned away to find something less charming than his friend in the park. It was unfair, really.

Without a waring, Jason threw his muscular arm around Nico’s shoulders and pulled him to his chest. Nico had almost no time to realize what was happening before Jason held the camera up, called “Smile!” and pressed the button.

He squeezed Nico’s slim shoulders once before releasing his roommate to look at the picture he had just so deviously taken. Nico was sure he was red like a tomato now. This really, really wasn’t fair. Jason wasn’t allowed to be so touchy today. Not on this nice spring day. Not when Nico did all he could already not to fall for him. Damn that adorable smile he wore now, looking at the camera…

Jason turned to him still smiling. “Wanna see?”

“Just delete it,” he answered crossly.

He got a frown in return. Jason lowered the hand that held Nico’s camera and shook his head. “No way.”

Anger bubbled in Nico’s chest. That was _his_ camera, _his_ pictures and Jason had no right to look that determined to keep a picture on _his_ camera when _he_ wanted it deleted. He held out his hand. “Than give it back.”

“You’re just gonna delete it!” Jason accused him.

“Of course!”

“No.”

“Oh hell!” Nico threw his arms up in exasperation “Why the fuck not? Just give it back!” He tried grabbing for the device, but Jason put one hand on his shoulder, pushing him away, while he held the camera behind his back with the other. He laughed at Nico’s futile attempt and shook his head again.

“I’ve known you for more than a year now and still don’t even have a single picture of you. You can’t make me give up on that one, Di Angelo.”

Nico put his palms together and moved them down and back up towards his chest repeatedly. “Just what did I do to deserve this?”

Jason just grinned obviously already counting this as his victory. He eventually held the camera out for Nico, whose curiosity won him over and he took the device from Jason. The picture was as bad as he had suspected, it was too dark and the composition was horrible, but he had to admit Jason looked good in it. Which wasn’t surprising; Jason always looked good. He was photogenic, attractive and no matter what he did, he still looked like a blond Superman.

“That’s a nice one, isn’t it?”

Nico frowned when this particular Superman loomed over his shoulder eagerly waiting for his reaction. “Not really,” he answered.

“Oh come on! You look cute!”

At that Nico inhaled sharply, gritting his teeth not to splutter dumbly. He looked _horrible_ in that picture. Not that he liked the way he looked anyway, but that photo-Nico had his hands on photo-Jason’s chest, looking startled, mouth open and eyes defencelessly staring at the blond Superman he was clinging to. So not something he wanted _anyone_ to see.

Jason plucked the camera from his hands again and hopped away. “Come on! Let’s get this beauty on your laptop! I’m so gonna make that my screensaver!” He laughed and started walking back towards their dorm. Nico didn’t feel like laughing at all but still followed Jason.

 

A few days later Nico found himself sitting cross-legged on his bed and flicked through the pictures on the camera.

Jason had followed through with his threat and put the horrible picture on his phone the moment Nico had given him the memory card. The same evening, Jason had surprised Nico by taking another picture with his phone the moment Nico walked unsuspecting out of their bathroom in his pyjamas. If Nico had to determine the exact point in time when he was doomed all over again it would have been this.

He really liked being a photographer, producing emotions and reactions in those who saw his pictures, but sometimes he loathed that they revealed _his_ emotions quite as clearly. His growing obsession showed.

Jason lying on his bed, dozing off with a book about gladiators splayed open on his chest; Jason playing basketball with some friends, sweating and grinning; Jason sitting at his desk in the dark only illuminated by the small desk lamp, clearly despairing of his homework; Jason laughing with others in the cafeteria; Jason, Jason, Jason…

It was pathetic. Nico put the camera on the covers and pulled his legs to his chest, hugging them and burying his face in his knees. He wanted to scream, to hit something, to release the cold lump in his chest… It hurt. It always hurt so fucking much and all he could do was suffer in silence. He didn’t want to loose Jason; he was the best thing that ever happened to Nico, he cared for him and looked out for him and Nico wasn’t stupid enough to jeopardize their friendship with something so dumb and futile like love.

He hugged himself tighter. This wasn’t fair. It never was fair; but why Jason? Why did it have to be Jason? He could get over someone like Percy, someone who had been unreachable from the start, but Jason… Jason was _right there_. He was always close, he hugged Nico everyday and he trusted Nico and he helped him through his nightmares, always keeping them a secret from everybody else…

A sob caught in his throat. He wasn’t going to cry. Not this time. He had known from the start not to fall for Jason. He had known and it still happened. He was so stupid and he had no one to blame but himself. Something wet was rolling down his cheeks, but he still wouldn’t allow himself to realize he was crying. Jason was so good to him; he just couldn’t betray his trust like _that_. His heart clenched. He pressed his hand against his chest, clawing the fabric of his sweater.

Not even minding his camera, he threw himself on the bed, not able to fight the pain, biting in his pillow to muffle the whimpering sounds that came with the tears now.

“Nico? You alright?”

He hadn’t noticed Jason coming into their room, but now, as always, Jason was there, when he hurt. Just his luck. Nico couldn’t answer, he just curled in upon himself even more.

Jason, stupid, caring Jason immediately gathered him in his arms and stroke his back soothingly. He hadn’t even the strength to fight him anymore, he let Jason rock him back and forth like a baby and bawled his eyes out without restriction. He clawed at the one person he just couldn’t loose, the one person that was everything to him, the one person he _loved,_ but Jason could never know.

He ended up feeling incredibly guilty the next morning, waking up in Jason’s arms. The first moments it had been bliss, but then everything came crashing down upon him again. He untangled himself from his roommate and slipped in the bath. He looked even worse than normal. His eyes were red and puffy from crying, his hair dishevelled and stringy. Nico washed his face with cold water, not even bothering when the front of his shirt got wet. He needed to change anyway. Jason was rummaging around in their room. Nico almost laughed when he heard the other curse the early morning light. After brushing his teeth and a quick shower he was finally presentable enough to bother steeling himself for what had to come the moment he left the bathroom: Jason would want to know what had happened yesterday, why he had been crying. Nico looked in the mirror again. What should he say? “Remember when I told you I’ve fallen for Percy? Well I’ve fallen for _another_ straight guy again and this time it’s going to ruin our friendship. By the way it’s you.”

His throat constricted with dryness. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t face Jason… but he couldn’t stay in the bath forever either. This was going to suck so bad…

He opened the door to their room, feeling like he accepted his death sentence.

Jason was sitting on his bed, going through the pictures on his camera. His _camera._ With almost nothing but pictures of _Jason_ on it. Even before Nico could act upon the immediate urge to flee, to jump out of the window and run away, never stopping or looking back, Jason’s eyes fixed him in his place. He looked curious but not uncomfortable…

“Nico, I think we need to talk…”

_Oh fuck…_

“No. No we sure as hell don’t.” A sudden panic flared up inside him. He rushed over to the bed, fully intending to rip the camera from Jason’s hands. Jason was faster, stronger. He grabbed Nico’s wrist in a vice grip, not letting him get away anymore.

Nico tugged hard, but only ended up in hurting himself. “Let go!”

“Nico, calm down!”

The camera fell on the floor in their struggle but neither cared at that moment. Nico only wanted to get away. Jason _knew_. He fucking _knew_! It was too much. There was no way he would want to hear what Jason inevitably was to say. He wasn’t that strong. He would shatter the moment Jason rejected him. He didn’t need that.

His breathing was laboured, his heart beating fast and painfully and tears were threatening to spill again. _Again_. Nico hated this. He hated himself, he hated his stupid feelings, his stupid heart. Why did this have to happen? Why did Jason have to find out? If only he would’ve never found out; Jason would’ve at least been by his side, not as his boyfriend, but at least as his friend. Now he was disgusted. All those pictures of him, he hadn’t even known existed; like Nico had stalked him, creepily running after him, taking all those photos and looking at them like… like…

“Nico, calm _down_!”, Jason repeated. He sprang up from the bed, standing close to Nico, never releasing his hold on his wrists.

Nico refused to look him in the eye, refused to let him have that gratification. Jason wouldn’t see the hurt in his eyes when he dealt the killing blow. His tears were running freely now, his whole body shaking with sobs. He couldn’t comprehend what happened when a sudden warmth engulfed him.

Jason too was crying now. Why was he crying? Why were his arms around him?

“Nico stop, _please_ …”

What was happening?

Total confusion stopped Nico from reacting in any way. He heard Jason hiccup next to his ear, his face buried in Nico’s shoulder. He felt hollow somehow, nothing he felt only a moment ago got to him anymore. Reluctantly he hugged Jason back, still not getting anything.

“Why are you crying?”, he asked in a small voice

Jason gulped audibly and raised his head to look Nico in the eye. His voice cracked a little “Because you’re a stupid numbskull!”

Nico blinked genuinely not understanding. “What?”

“You’re panicking!”, shot Jason now almost angry “What the fuck happened yesterday?”

“I… just…”, Nico spluttered, letting go of Jason and trying to get away, but Jason’s grip on him was unrelenting.

The tension was almost palpable when Nico closed his eyes still feeling Jason watching him. What should he do? It’s not like he could flee… He could try to lie but Jason _had_ seen the pictures and would want an explanation for them… The tears had stopped, but the pain in his chest was still there, his heart still beating fast and his hands still sweaty and trembling. He wasn’t prepared for this, wasn’t prepared for loosing Jason but then again… would he ever _be_ prepared for that? _Could_ he ever be prepared for something this horrible? He opened his eyes again.

Jason looked at him appraising. “Those pictures… they were all of me”

It wasn’t actually a question, but Nico conceded nevertheless. “Yes”

“You took all of them?”

“Yes”

“Why?”

Nico looked up at him through his tear-stained lashes. “Because I like taking pictures of you”

“Why?” It was almost a whisper. An eager, encouraging whisper. Nico glimpsed something in Jason’s eyes that prompted him to answer.

“Because I want to”

At that Jason laughed incredulously and let his head fall back on Nico’s shoulder. “You’re such a numbskull. I’m in love with such a numbskull.”

Nico’s eyes shot open even wider. His heart seemed to stop and he forgot how to breath, his whole body grew rigid in one second. He must’ve misheard something. There was no way Jason could’ve meant that like… _that_. He must’ve meant someone else or…

“What?”, he finally pressed out.

Jason sighed and actually looked annoyed at him from the corner of his eyes. Still an obvious blush spread over his cheeks. “Do I really have to repeat that?”

_No way. Nonononononono, don’t get your hopes up, Di Angelo!_

“Yes”, he breathed nodding a little, suddenly overly sensitive of all the places they were touching.

Jason closed his eyes and took a deep breath before putting his forehead against Nico’s and looking him straight in the eye as if to make sure Nico got the message this time.

“I said”, he started, his breath tickling Nico’s lips “I’m in love with a numbskull.”

Nico blushed, but couldn’t react. This couldn’t happen. This had to be a dream or some weird fantasy or… something.

Jason frowned and rolled his eyes. “Which means you.”

Something bubbled up inside Nico’s chest, something warm and tingly but not bad, not constricting like before…

The look in Jason’s eyes grew more and more uncomfortable and he started fidgeting. Just before he let go of Nico he started laughing.

“I thought you’d hate me!”

“I could never hate you!”, Jason replied, sounding almost offended.

“I couldn't hate you either.” Nico grinned. The feeling inside his chest was still indescribable. It was more than one feeling even; relief, excitement, but most of all this glorious happiness.

“So you… feel the same?” Jason sounded so close to insecure it was almost pitiable.

“Isn’t it obvious?”, Nico exclaimed “Yes, yes I do!”

Jason closed the small gap that was still between them and engaged Nico in a bruising kiss. It was hungry, sloppy and hurt a little, but it was everything Nico had ever wanted. When they eventually had to break off to breath Jason beamed, looking so damn satisfied and almost a little smug; Nico couldn’t restrain himself. “Stay”, he ordered, let go of Jason who watched him a little bewildered when he crouched down to pick up the camera that had fallen on the floor earlier. He turned back to Jason, readying the device. Jason hugged him close again, almost like the time in the park. Nico leaned into the touch this time. “Smile”

_Click_

**Author's Note:**

> I just really love the idea of Nico as a photographer - tell me you can see him like that, too; expressing himself through pictures, making memories no one can erase and stuff like that - although it became little more than a sidenote in this story...
> 
> Thanks for reading anyway!  
> Feel free to comment and/or criticize <3


End file.
